The 5 Qualities of a Successful Marriage
There is data to support the idea that happy people, and more specifically happy marriages, share common characteristics.
Here I will discuss in detail the 5 qualities of a Successful Marriage in my ” Marriage Mindfulness” Series.
Happy, healthy marriages are marked by a deep and abiding friendship. One observable sign of a healthy friendship and a happy marriage is seen in how they interact, finding that spouses nurture their friendships by demonstrating fondness and admiration, respect and allowing the other to be their own person. They quickly keep note of their spouse’s likes and dislikes. Respect and communication are strongly associated with couples happiness along with their sex lives, romance and passion.
Happy marriages and satisfying relationships are marked by a form of “flow”, with a matching of beliefs, values, ideas, humor, even body language movements. I find that happy couples more frequently laugh together, confide in each other, work well on projects together and can discuss issues regardless if they are not on the same page. They will come back to the table and discuss their concerns once they both have had a time to digest the other partners ideas and suggestions.
Affection is felt by mutual feelings of fondness, love and tenderness. Affection felt between a couple in love is sometimes silent with their eyes, a touch or a gesture. Affection is important in a marriage. It can be something so simple as a smile, a word, a touch and even a silent hug towards your partner, especially when they are having a day of struggles. Feelings and emotions are the foundation in the pleasure and joy we experience in life, separately and together as a couple.
James (James 1:19) healthy relationships put into practice the notion of being quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. These are signs of not only good communication patterns, but of an unselfish regard for the welfare of others. Many couples note with some sadness that the degree of their own selfishness became clearer as their new chapter together commenced. It is important to understand that we as humans have to love and respect ourselves before we can engage in a partnership with another human being. Loving yourself unconditionally first gives you the knowledge to love deeply, give deeply and understand without judgement.
A spiritually intimate marriage is one where couples pray together seeking God in the lives daily.
These five qualities ” friendship, togetherness, affection, other-focused, and shared spirituality” are often found in the people who describe their marriages as “happy.” Finding profound calmness, togetherness, friendship, understanding, respect, kindness, love and non judgement is what a firm foundation of “Marriage Mindfulness” is about.
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